Introverted behavior

I feel dead. Tonight I feel utterly dead inside. I shook for a good hour and a half as each misspelled text came through. Why would God allow me to take on so much pain? I'm being literally crucified. By fire. This is the punishment and I know it.

I made a vow tonight, to tell the truth from here on out. I looked back and saw a lot of dishonesty. I want to grow into a much better person. And I am nearly complete. I have so much going for me but a void in my chest.

Who knows what those texts meant..

I have prayed more then slept today. I need to balance it out. God please be with me as I sleep. And keep me safe tomorrow and help me be honest with everything.