This morning all I want to do is die. I'm a complete mess and am losing my mind. I try to sleep whenever I can because for that time the pain goes away. Until this morning when I went outside in my dream and a Subaru pulled up.
I was supposed to be a better man in life by now. I was supposed to have my career already off the ground. I was supposed to have gone to therapy to sort myself out a long time ago. But I had no idea I was that screwed up.
I'll never make such a mistake again. I know because I know how bad I hurt. I just can't seem to want to stay a part of this world with the love of my life out there.
I'm so sad that I'm thinking this way. My heart feels like a rock. I just want to go back to sleep.
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